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-   -   the birthmark bothers me so much (http://birthmark.org/board/showthread.php?t=2329)

zgdd 04-11-2007 07:19 AM

the birthmark bothers me so much
 
I am a 23year young man with a gaint birthmark on my body(from left waist to left thigh),about 500 square centimeter~~~~~my life is kind of in the misery and begin to have seriouse psychological problems, anxiety ,feel frustrated all the time , cannot cheer up...i always try to cover it , donot dear to swim ,to take parties,to get close to girls....everything in my life just mess up and i can not help myself out. i asked the doctors ,they said they may remove it with laser but the expenditure is too high for me to afford.
i really donot know how to deal with it , and i sometimes lose the hope of surviving in this world, am i too pessimism? hope can make some friends here who may experiencing the same worse situation with me......

hankbartenbach 04-12-2007 03:45 AM

Hi,

First of all welcome to the group.

I am a 24 year old with a facial port wine stain birthmark. Which has given me hearing loss and vision loss.

Being that I have a birthmark on my face I have learned to except my birtmark and not care what other people think or say. I work in retail and get qustions and stares daily. I also started laser treatment 19 years ago and my birthmark is still very large and has grown. In 2005 I had three plastic surgeries to remove the parts that where growing outword. (which have already started growing back)

I have anxiety, but not birthmark related.

I have a question for you. Why do you try to hide your birthmark all the time? You should look at it as a gift not a curse. If you can not except your birthmark then how can anybody else. If you want to wear shorts wear them. If you want to swim, swim. If people can not except you for who you are then you do not need them in your life. For the strangers, everyone has a fla, nobody is perfect. Ours are just more noticealble. Make the best of it.

When children come up to me and ask about my birthmark I turn to education. They are just curious, and maybe they will except othes with birth defect maybe not but why not try.

The more you think negatively the more you will bring yourself down. Think more postively! Do things in your life you know it makes you feel good about yourself.

I hope this helps and if you would like to see pictures of my surgeries you can see them on my website hankspws.com

Hope to talk to you soon.

Hank

zgdd 04-12-2007 04:23 AM

Hi Hank ,thnx for ye reply , i really appreciate, and it is so good to see u r so happy together with Jessica.u r a great guy ,really .

"If people can not except you for who you are then you do not need them in your life. For the strangers, everyone has a fla, nobody is perfect. Ours are just more noticealble. Make the best of it." what a great idea it is ! ye positive mind brings hope to me , i suddenly realise why should i care so much about others' thought about my birthmark , it is so self-torturing, i 'll learn to be more positive.....thnx!
By the way i am staying in china .

hankbartenbach 04-17-2007 03:52 AM

Your very welcome. If you ever need to talk just email me or post here.

Hank

kaykay 04-21-2007 01:07 AM

Like Hank, i also have a pws on my face. Its pretty big and i does bothers me and givea me anixety sometimes but i deal with it the best i can cause its not like i can hide it.

So i see it as having no choice but to live with it :) There are alot of things out there that you might enjoy and actually make you forget you have a pws.

Take Hanks advice ! great guy.

PiaJoy 07-28-2007 09:00 AM

"If people can not except you for who you are then you do not need them in your life. For the strangers, everyone has a fla, nobody is perfect. Ours are just more noticealble. Make the best of it." thats a really awesome quote hank! i love it! thanks for the advice!


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