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-   -   Dating with a Port Wine Stain? (http://birthmark.org/board/showthread.php?t=4054)

muse151 08-25-2010 06:15 AM

Dating with a Port Wine Stain?
 
I am a 19 year old girl...i have a large blotchy PWS on my left leg (ankle to the bottom of my knee)
I have NEVER dated a guy because i am sooooo afraid that he will find me unattractive after he finds out about my leg...or even worse embarressed of me.
It makes me really sad...i have tried laser treatments for about two years once a month...didnt work at all...

so i feel like i will always be alone....
Any of you have advice or similar experiances?

missy 08-25-2010 11:15 AM

I'll have to let someone younger answer this, but rest assured that we ALL have something that we consider wrong for our bodies. The right guy just won't care.

:)

Missy

abatie 08-25-2010 06:17 PM

I don't have a PWS but my daughter has CMTC that covers her right leg. At your age it is hard to be self-confident but I agree with Missy in that the right guy will not care. I would guess it is a much bigger issue for you than the people around you. Go out and have fun because you are in the best years of your life.

LizH 08-27-2010 12:18 AM

Hi!

I'm 24, with a large birthmark on my right hand and arm. It's pretty visible, especially when I wear short sleeves during the summer. I found that once I got over it myself, I had a pretty normal dating life during and after college.

It's true that everyone has something they dislike about their bodies. & people worth being with won't let it stop them : )

Jenny22 01-27-2011 06:22 PM

I remember feeling a lot like you when I was younger. I have a large PWS on my entire left upper leg and part of my calf. I used to hate wearing shorts and almost never did in high school. I'm now 25 and have (mainly) come to terms with my birthmark.

I can tell you that even though I was embarrassed by it, my birthmark didn't affect my dating life. I would explain it to people, just saying it was a birthmark and I had it since I was born. Not one person ever cared that I had it. I even asked my current boyfriend of 4 years about it the other night, and he said he noticed it when he first met me, thought, oh, she has a birthmark, and that was the last he ever thought about it.

Anyone that is a good enough person to be with you won't have an issue with it at all!

muse151 03-22-2011 10:30 AM

Ok, i understand its only a birthmark. but my birthmark is raised, thick and bumpy in certain places...
it actually hurts sometimes.
You can literally feel my birthmark, which is the part that makes me the most ashamed.

kaykay 03-25-2011 01:53 AM

i know it sucks but you gotta face the music so to speak if you want to date. I don't date but i have a few male friends. hardest part might be when they get defensive of you at other peoples comments.

erih 04-15-2011 09:04 PM

Hi Muse.

I'm a nearly 24 yr old with a PWS on my forehead and have been in a few relationships (am currently in one now, actually) and NONE of the guys I have been with have been bothered by it--and I have asked! I have also been asked out a few more times by guys I didn't know (one was in a grocery store, actually).

My theory is that if a guy doesn't like you because of something like PWS (or freckles or the colour of your eyes), then who needs him? I know its never that easy once feelings get involved.

So, my advice is to keep your chin up and not worry about it. But also be willing to answer any questions he has if he's curious, or, if you're comfortable, offer to tell him about it in case he's afraid to upset you.

Good luck!

CYM 05-06-2011 03:08 AM

Not always easy, but I have decided not to wear make up and I have darker PWS covering close to half of face. Depending on my mood, there are some days I get irritated with stares. But I do my best to keep chin up, look people in eye and show that I am proud of self. Sure, I bet there are many guys that passed me by b/c of it, but I knew that I never wanted someone who placed too much emphasis on appear as well. Though hard at times, now have wonderful family. Hang in there and you will find someone who loves all of you!

tanyas 05-09-2011 07:47 PM

I dont think PWS make any difference.Its only own brain , keep us away from doing things. I have PWS on my left chick and chin. Quite visible . I used think the same way that nobody would like date with me and many other negativ thoughts.
AND i am proud to say that my husband encouraged me to believe in myself as person than just physcial appearance .I am married from last 3 years and before that we were in relationship for 2 years. So right guy will never think about it. And we should look for right guy than somebody creep who makes shit about it.


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