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-   -   Did your birthmark get in the way of getting a job? (http://birthmark.org/board/showthread.php?t=5288)

r2242 03-26-2011 04:49 PM

Did your birthmark get in the way of getting a job?
 
I am looking for a job and wondering if any of you guys were judged and denied a job because of the way you look? I wear heavier makeup so my birthmark isn't really visible, but you can see that one side of my face looks a little different.

I went to an interview a couple months ago and when the interviewer looked at the side of my face that my BM was on, he looked at me kind of weird and didn't really listen to what I was saying because he was paying so much attention to my face. At one point I had to stop talking until I got his attention again because he was just staring at my face and not listening at all.

It really discouraged me and I am worried that I will get judged again. I am anxious about going to interviews because I am afraid I will be judged or given an ugly "look". This makes it even harder for me to look happy and smile during an interview.

Do you guys have any advice for me?

kaykay 04-20-2011 12:40 AM

please don't be discouraged. now if you had green hair, tattooed face and piercings all over that could be a problem depending on the job but then i just dont really get piercings i think are stupid.

One interview i was not successful because i was a female in a man's world LOL. mechanic shop.

but I've never really applied for a job. just two temporary jobs. 1st one was job trainning in a bank. i knew nothing and they stuck me in the customer service desk. I can't say i was judged but customers came one after another and most of them had something they wanted to ask me about my birthmark.

second job recently, i entered a household with twin boys. around 9 maybe. they were rude. I did my best to handle it an asked them questions about themselves. grandmother didn't really do anything about the situation but yell at them to do their homework. I was unable to complete my interview that day and choose not to go back. I did not tell my supervisor the main reason i refused to go back there.

while i can't say i was refused because of my birthmark, the problem i did have with working or even volunteering in a government office is reminding myself that i am representing an organisation and even if it sucks i need to suck it up and not react in the wrong manner. I help a friend out sometimes with his shop/bar. he doesn't think twice about me, just happy to have an extra honest hand

I do worry however about applying for a job. I do wonder will they be concerned about my appearance while most businesses want to present a welcoming face to attract customers and can i really fault them for that.

In the end, it should really come down to are you qualified and capable of the job at hand, not your birthmark. So go out there and give it your best shot no matter what. remember, alot of people are just curious. Present yourself the best you can

gdykes 05-10-2011 10:10 AM

Job search
 
When I first tried to get a job after receiving my driver’s license at 16 I was flatly denied any and every opportunity. A buddy and I went job shopping at super markets and fast food shops, he was offered jobs everywhere we applied. I was somberly told that I couldn’t be hired. When I asked why, no reason was given other than “I can’t hire you.” I was in my 40’s before I realized why I was denied a job in those days, It was because of the birthmarks on my face. I complained to my mother that no one would hire me. She, of course, pressured me to get a job in the first place; gas money you know. I really and truly did not understand why I couldn‘t get hired. My mother must have known what the problem was though. One of her friends knew the manager at a local super market and it was that personal contact that opened up my first job offer. I probably never would have gotten that first job had it not been for that. During my college years I began completely hiding the birthmark with makeup and I believe I never would have been hired for any of the jobs I’ve had since then had I not “fooled the bastards.” And that has been my attitude when job hunting and especially interviewing. “Fool their ass” and I did and still do!! I use high quality make-up, Joe Blasco, they have a tint that perfectly matches my skin tone. Before Blasco I used Clinique for about 20 years, It’s also very high quality. My wife even began using it. I’m no prissy pants, I’m a man but I use a make up mirror when applying the make-up and you cannot really tell I’m covering a birthmark with makeup. My best advice for job shopping with a facial PWS: “Fool’em!” If you haven’t already, learn to expertly apply high quality make up, don’t short change yourself, use something good and do it right ! I can make myself available to anyone who would like to share experiences living with a facial PWS. I had unsuccessful tattoo treatments in the mid 1970’s before lasers were available and the tattooed pigment prevents lasers from working on my birthmark today. Be glad to talk about that too.

r2242 05-14-2011 04:09 PM

Thank you for replying!

I do wear makeup but I can't get it to cover up my birthmark completely. And it doesn't look very natural on me. So when I wear less makeup so my face would look more "natural" my BM shows through. But when I get most of the BM covered I look like I am wearing a lot of makeup and then people stare at my makeup.

By the way, some companies have policies now that you can only wear light makeup. But I am not going to do that because its not going to cover my birthmark well enough.

I have tried looking for a makeup artist who specializing in camouflaging redness so he or she could show me how to cover up my BM but I couldn't find one near where I live.

kaykay 05-15-2011 12:33 AM

i can't cover my BM because its bulky and would be noticably anyway.

I am happy to say i've been called back to do a month's work with census. But, i did go threw the interview process, like the other post, its cause of a personal connection. My boss knows me since i was 11 and it was my friend who helped give me the hook up.

I think its challenging. if your a labourer or tradesman looks don't really matter. No one gives a damn. But office and customer orientied business, its different.

gdykes 05-15-2011 01:42 AM

r2242

I realize that we’re all different. Some have Port Wine birthmarks over large parts of their bodies or even covering their entire faces. I have three dark red port wine birthmarks on the entire left side of my face. One involves my entire left temple and the corner of my left eye. Another is underneath my left eye, it looks just like a black eye. One involves my entire left cheek and the left side of my upper lip-it protrudes some and looks like I’ve been punched there too, and it also involves the area above my left upper lip between my nose. I can conceal those parts with a moustache, however. My birthmark(s) is smooth and although very large and deep red to purple, especially in cold weather, it might be easier for me to conceal than it is for some others, I just don't know. Is yours smooth? Have you tried one of the makeup artists at a Clinique counter in a department store such as J.C. Penney? They will apply the makeup on you and show you how to do it. I've never done that but my ex- wife had them teach her. No, she doesn't have a birthmark she just wanted to learn how to apply clinique. It was kinda funny, I turned her on to Clinique of all things. Whenever I bought some she'd get some too. Also, have either of you two r2242 and kaykay had laser treatments? If so, how did it go for you? Lasers will not work on my birthmark, so far anyway.

kaykay 05-16-2011 11:53 PM

i had experimental agro laser on a small patch on my shoulder when i was young and it stopped when i was about 7. wasn't doing nuthin and at the time they thought it was a risk for luekimia? to continue until i had stopped growing. My pws on my chest and back are flat, neck face lip ear and in my head it is bulky. i actually can't stand make up. I find it irritating and can never get it right. not a girlie girl. LOL clear mascara and lip gloss only

i could work with the dark pws but the bulkiness does bother me. I don't speak clearly. An even thought the MRI says my brain is okay i still think there are a few missing links LOL i have problems understanding. having to interview people for me is hard, having to ask questions, worse. Always conscience of slight drool. Hearing only in one ear is frustrating.

I passed a guesthouse and remembered something today. A bridge collasped cutting my area off. A weekend. This is the coast so lots of visitors to the beaches and rivers. Trying to do what we can we delievered water and food, checking on guesthouses, making persons aware of emergency services did they have their meds etc....this guest house had a pool. As we got there someone had hit their head in the pool and was out of it. I grabbed a chair as i told them to take her out the pool and put her in the chair. little boy next to me had a nice thick towel. I asked, could i please have the towel for her. He wrapped it tighter around himself and didn't answer. I thought it was because he didn't know me but i realised later it had something to do with my birthmark. I try not to look into those things too much but i think about stuff like that time to time. people are so busy caught up in my birthmark they don't really see me or forget they are suppose to be conducting business with me

r2242 05-19-2011 04:14 PM

My birthmark is smooth. I did once try going to a department store and have someone find makeup to cover my birthmark and the makeup artist did apply the makeup on me. But she didnít really teach me how to. I got about the same amount of coverage as she did when I covered it on my own. I could try going there again but to a different makeup artist like from the Clinique section but I am so self conscious about my birthmark. I donít anyone to see it. Iím worried that if she wonít cover it well than I would have to walk around with people staring at me. There are too many people walking by the makeup counters and I know they will stare.

I got about 13 laser treatments so far and they did help lighten it up, but not as much as I had expected it to lighten up. My PWS covers about 90% of the left side of my face excluding the forehead and chin. The birthmark is like divided into 2 parts and they connect at the top of my face. The part that is closer to the middle is darker and more resistant to the laser treatments. It got about 60% lighter than it was before treatments (it was dark red/purplish before treatments). The part that is closer to my ear is lighter and it responded to treatment really well. It got about 90% lighter after the treatments and before the treatments the entire birthmark was the same color. The pws that is more in the middle of my face is hard to cover up. The other one is a lot easier to cover up.

I used the candela V beam and perfecta and I got much better results with the perfecta. I switched to perfecta after the candela V beam laser stopped fading my pws. The perfecta still was able to lighten up some of my pws. I have only tried those 2 lasers. gdykes, what lasers have you tried so far?

kaykay 05-19-2011 04:34 PM

wow that precentage with the laser is pretty good right ? I hope it continues to improve with each treatment.

I know what you mean about the make up counter. it kinda sounds like when i buy condoms but i think maybe its just in my head that they are wondering why would someone who looks like me need them lol

r2242 05-22-2011 04:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kaykay (Post 23331)
wow that precentage with the laser is pretty good right ? I hope it continues to improve with each treatment.

Before I began laser treatments, the doctor told me that the birthmark would be light pink after the treatments. They said it will fade my birthmark, but it wonít be totally gone and youíll still be able to see some pink. So I thought that oh nice, my pws will get very light. And the part on the side of my face did get pretty light. But I just wish the same thing would happen to the pws that towards the middle of my face.

I have stopped getting laser treatments for now because there was very little fading from the last laser treatment. But I still have hope. I have noticed that the longer I wait before getting the next laser treatment, the more fading I get.


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