I remember struggling with differing opinions as well. It is so difficult when you have different doctors saying different things. I will say that I have heard wonderful things about Dr. Fay and have seen excellent before and after photos of her work. I don't know if you ever go to the MSN forum but it seems like there are many moms who have struggled with the same decision as you on that forum.
Our daughter has an upper lip H that is scheduled for surgery in March. As for opinnions we had our pediatrician saying one thing, a dermatologist saying another, and then we found Dr. Waner who recommended our current course of treatment. I think taking into account the doctor's experience with treating hemangiomas is an important factor in making your decision. That is one reason why we went with Dr. Waner.
Good luck in making your decision. I agree that gut feeling is important and also how experienced each doctor is in treating these types of lesions.