I've had a cafe au lait mark on my forehead since I was born. Yesterday, I had a Q switch laser procedure done. (I'm currently 25) From what I've learned It could be lightened or possibly removed compleatly. This may take several treatments. My doctor seemed confident one or two would take care of it. It's a light 1.5 cm2 sized mark. The procedure was very simple. They injected some lydocane (this did hurt a little) as a toppical anastetic. Then they sheiled my eyes and used that laser for about 30 secounds. Now the mark is slightly purple/red on top.
As someone who has grown up with the same problem as your daughter I understand that it can be embarrising being known as the kid with the spot on their head. I started using makeup at a young age. (middle school) It is possible to cover the mark up compleatly with make up. (I use Clinique even better concealer.) My mother was also very against changing something that she says is a part of me. However, I keep telling her it's just how I look not who I am.