Dating with a Port Wine Stain?

[RowdyBliss]

muse151 - I really hope that since your last post you feel better... but I had to chime in because I have a similar birthmark (starting on the toes of my right foot, continuing bottom of my right foot, all the way up the back of my calf, up the back of my thigh, and over my butt).

Believe me when I tell you that most people don't even really see your birthmark first. They see you.

I'm 33. I started dating when I was sixteen or so. I called my PWS my "jerk detector." If any guy thought I was unattractive on account of my birthmark - jerk alert! Fortunately, I had the pleasure of dating many very nice men... most of whom didn't even realize I had a birthmark and, once they did, truly did not care. One of my very favorite boyfriends (from college, many moons ago, LOL) once told me that when I was born, it was as though G_d had just gotten a brand new purple magic marker and couldn't wait to test it by decorating the most beautiful little baby he could find. I thought that was really sweet.

Next year I am marrying a wonderful man who loves ALL of me, birthmark too.

They're out there, honey. Go find them.

[Mgarde]

I have always had a Port Wine Birthmark on the right side of my face, around the eye and down to the lip. It wasn't until High School that I could really cover it and look normal with Make up, so I dealt with the teasing and all my young adult life. I think it's made me a more loving and devoted person to others because of what I delt with. I would give anything to have mine somewhere other than my face, but I get not liking how people stare and all. I use Dermablend makup from any major retail store and it can go anywhere on the body too and it's water proof. I would sugest looking into Make up options and give ourself a break Mr Right is out there its a matter of getting past your own opion.

[nickbar]

Mgarde, I just want to thank you for your post. It is so important to have your wisdom and advice for others to draw from. It is all in your attitude!

[Blueeyes]

I've also got a PWS covering my left cheek and over half my lip, and I've never had a problem with boyfriends. I'm also 19, like you. It is quite scary to leave yourself open to someone, and to know they could hurt you with their reactions and words. But if someone reacts that way, they are absolutely not worth your time. In all honesty, I've had some boyfriends, including the one I'm with now, who have said they love it. And that it makes me different from everyone else. I know it must suck horribly, that it sometimes hurts. But if you're just worried about a boy/man's reaction, know that anyone who doesn't accept every little part of you is not worth the trouble.

[jpuritz]

Well, I've had problems finding a girlfriend, but I very much doubt it's because it looks like my right arm is possessed by a minor demon. As a guy, I am pretty well qualified to tell you that guys exist that don't care about that (since I am one, and where there is one there are more), and I hope you find one.

[sarah102491]

I'm 19 too! I have PWS down the entire length of the right side of my right leg. I'm still not anywhere near comfortable with wearing shorts or skirts. Though i have dated many guys and the ones i let see me in shorts weren't phased by it at all. In fact they didn't even understand why i was so upset about having the birthmark. haha! I hope Muse151 finds the confidence to accept herself. That goes for all of us! Ugh, why do we always have to be our own worst critque? D:

[sarah102491]

Originally Posted by RowdyBliss

I called my PWS my "jerk detector." If any guy thought I was unattractive on account of my birthmark - jerk alert!

Haha!!! I LOVE this!!!

[jobethrj79]

I agree that the right person will not care about your birthmark. My PWS covers half of my nose, over and under the eye (on the same side) and extends up onto my forehead. I am 32, never had any type of treatment for it. I do, however, cover my birthmark with make-up, especially when I go out with my family or to school (been back in school for two years, make-up every day). I find it easier that getting stares or answering dumb questions. But, you do have to learn how to be comfortable in your own skin. Those people, worth having in your life, will not care one bit, about your birthmark. They probably even like the fact that it has helped make you who you are. Good Luck!

[Aussie legs]

I'm 44 with PWS on the backs of both legs from top to bottom and quiet noticeable, I do remember when I started dating at 18 years, it took quite a while before I told my boyfriends about my PWS, and after I did I found out they didnt care about them. Now I'm married with 4 teenagers of my own and I have noticed that they dont see them like I do. I wear shorts and short dresses around home but not when I go out. But my teenage kids never comment about them or seem to notice them. I really think its me that is my worst enemy and I dont know when I will ever feel at ease with my PWS. I have been having laser treatment on them for the last 15 years with very slow results. All I can say is its surprising how other people judge us and its never as bad as what we think, we can be our worst enemy at times. And once you get a little older you really dont care what people think and you end up doing what makes you happy. If someone cares more about your appearance than you, then they are not the right person. If your boyfriend says they dont care about your birthmarks it says alot about them.

[vcumsw]

Originally Posted by erih

My theory is that if a guy doesn't like you because of something like PWS (or freckles or the colour of your eyes), then who needs him?!

I totally agree with the above poster. I let guys know from the get go.My pws covers my entire face, though i always wear makeup. if the guy has an issue with it when he hardly knows me, he's far too interested in physical aspects for me!

ps. my boyfriend of 4 years found this forum for me while searching on the internet so he himself could learn more. you can find support like that!