Many questions.....

Thank you for the info Missy. I will call the peditrician today and have her scheduled for an mri. I have been checking into sws more and more, and have been wondering if I should have her checked out again. Not that I believe she has it but I am curious bc of her doing some weird things as of late. She passes out time to time due to pain or nervousness. I asked the doctor and he seemed to think all was fine it's just her way of dealing w/stress. Can you imagine what could happen? I mean I just think in the long run here....she's doing something that is nerve racking such as performing in church or for school and passes out...hmmm just not a good thought there lol. Although I used to pass out when I was a kid and so did my older brother.

Thank you all for listening.

Jeni

Today is her first real day of school...I am crossing my fingers that all goes well. There is a major difference in the apperance of her birthmark already. Her body is healing so much faster this time.


Okay one more quick question, my oldest daughter Ellie is 6 and is having some jealousy issues. How do I help her cope w/what's going on? How do I make it better for her? any ideas?

Thanks again.

[hankbartenbach]

Hi I just wanted to do a little catch up on this subject.

I am glad Gabbeys surgery went well. I totally agree with Julie. You handled that in the airport perfectly. She is just getting to the point where she is aware of people staring. At school tell her to go up to the kids and tell them why she looks different. Some will except her others will take longer. Tell her if they stare at you stare at them back, that will just make them feel uncomfortable.

Julie, I loved the story about the lady, tell Ben to keep up the good work on bringing out awereness. LOL

Hank

[imported_missy]

Jeni,

How did the first "real" day of school go?

For SWS, see http://swscommunity.org Lotsa info there and good stuff too. Ask them about passing out.

The jealousy thing, though? Let's see... one is five and the other is six? Maybe you can find something you do with Ellie and not with Gabbey. I've found that my two kids both benefit from one-on-one time. It's not easy when one child has to receive attention due to a medical concern.

It's certainly not easy.

Missy

Sorry it's been a few days since I posted. Things got crazy around here lol.

Gabbey did great on her First day of school. Matter of fact she only had one bad comment and that wasn't really all that bad. A little girl in her class told her that her birthmark was "bad". Gabbey said she just told the girl...no it's not. The next day she did ask the girl why her birthmark was bad and the little girl told her that it was bad because it hurts Gabbey...The innocence of children amazes me. Here this child was only thinking of how her friend was affected pain wise.

Her teacher is awesome. Our oldest Ellie had her last year for kindergarten, and she is awesome w/Gabbey. Gabbey tells her when she needs lotion and the teacher says okay go down to the nurse. LOL. Tonight is get to know you night lol, so this PTA mom will be going and will talk to both girls teachers.

As far as Ellie goes, she has become more and more stressed as of late about Gabbey. I told my husband that she is trying to "mother" Gabbey at school and at home. I just want Ellie to be able to relax does anyone have any suggestions? Here's an example of how she acted on Sunday. (I wasn't feeling too well so was laying on the couch) We were all watching a movie together as a family and Gabbey had gotten up to go potty, Ellie gets all stressed bc Gabbey wasn't down here in the basement and she just stressed out on me. (Of course Gabbey was just right up about 5 steps.) Does anyone have any ideas on what I can do for her?

Thanks ahead of time.
Jeni

[imported_missy]

Hey, if Ellie wants to mother Gabbey, I say... let her! Put her in charge for a day or two. Once it's really her responsibility, maybe she won't want it so much anymore.

Once I had a problem with my six year old not wanting what was for dinner. Finally, one Sunday, I said, "Fine. You're in charge of the food for two days! That means, YOU can plan and fix the meals for yourself, me, and your brother."

I just wanted him to see that it wasn't the easiest thing in the world and not so nice when you plan and cook a meal for someone else at the table to turn their nose up!

At first, he cried a bit. I thought he was crying because he was in trouble, but when I asked him why he said, "I don't know what to make for dinner tomorrow!"

:

But, for two days, he planned meals and cooked a good bit of it. I helped with the hot stuff. He learned that it's not so easy.

I learned that he's old enough to help out more.

Perhaps Ellie needs more "family responsibility."

Glad the first day of school went well. A good teacher will make all the difference, too.

Take care,

Missy

That's a great idea. I might do that I just worry about her stressing out. She's a lot like I was at her age although I didn't have a younger brother/sister I was just "mommy" to all my friends. That hasn't changed and I am hoping to help her out bc later in life it brings a lot of gray hairs. LOL

Now the past few days I have given her a bit more responsiblity...I added a few more chores to her list for the week and she did them w/o complaining. Matter of fact made her feel a little more grown up. My girlfriend suggests that I take the "load" off her by telling her not to worry, not asking her to do things, but I feel that just brings another set of problems..i.e. laziness.

Thanks for the input Missy.

Jeni

[juliemn]

Oh...it's definitely a fine line at that age.

How much responsibility is enough or not enough? I'm still weeding through this one with my older kids...they're 10 and 11. Definitely old enough for responsibility...and they have them. Sometimes I think that I push them too hard because of our chaotic life. But when I let things like their chores slide...we all get a bit nervous. I think the order of it all is comforting. So they still do the dishes, garbage, and clean up after the pets(3 cats and a dog...cuz' we're nuts). Really they do a lot more than that, but that's their only written in stone HAVE to do it list. I sometimes don't know what I would do without them. When I start feeling like that, I know we're in trouble. It means I'm depending on them to be too grown up. They're still kids.
So.....we call amnesty day! My kids love this word!!!!!! It means we get to go on a one day vacation....away from the house. Pool, state park, tourist trap town, beach, fishing, etc.. One day we just went to the back yard...we were only allowed in the house to use the bathroom. No cleaning allowed, delivered pizza for lunch....Dad brought home chinese for supper. Just a little indigestion..LOL.

Julie

What a cool idea. I might use the amnesty day. LOL. Things have calmed down for her this weekend for some weird reason. Her and I are going to do girl scouts this year. (Gabbey is too young for our schools girl scouts) We actually have a meeting tonight. YAY! She is all excited about it.

Well off to clean and get the house done for today.

Jeni

[imported_missy]

Jeni,

As Julie said, it's a fine line. But it sounds to me like Ellie wants and needs to worry and "mother" Gabbey a bit. After all, it's Ellie's family too.

We also have Amnesty Day, but have never called it that. I'm adopting that title!! Wonderful!! We call it Lush Day.... we stay in our pajamas, read all day, don't clean, leave the dishes, etc. Everyone needs some downtime.

Glad things are working out for Ellie, and for you! Let us know any other parenting brainstorms you have.... I can always use a good storm!

Missy