Need some tactful one-liners for my soon to be first-grader

Hi guys,

It's been a while since I've written, my daughter has a portwine on the right side of her face covering her eye down to her mid cheek..She will be starting first grade come mid Aug. and I was wondering about some comeback lines she could use for anyone who may make fun or bully her because of it. We had no problems in Kindergarten but with every new school year..who knows.

We are planning on getting laser treatment, maybe this school year after her tan from the summer fades. I don't think she'll be down with it, so if she's not ready for the treatment then I want her to be able to handle the negative comments in a smart and tactful way without eliciting violence. We are hoping to use laughter as a source of handling negativity.

Thanks a lot!

[missy]

Welcome back!

I have one starting second grade and even without a PWS, it's not easy.

The only one liner I can come up with (hey, it's early!) is that it's where God touched her.

I'm thinking that if you had no problems in Kindergarten, those students will hopefully be in her first grade class. Familiarity with the students helped my son the most, I think, particularly having one child from his old baseball team. They made good friends this last year. Does your daughter have one child like that who might perhaps be in her class?

Other parents, who have more experience with this will chime in soon.

In any case, here's to a good, productive school year!! First grade was a lot of fun for my son... hope it is for your daughter as well.

Missy

I guess I would just advise your daughter to just inform the other students... "It's just the color my skin was when I was born." I would advise practicing with her a little. Let her know that other kids may stare a little because they are concerned and they make fun because they do not understand. My personal experience was that students would ask me, I would just tell them, and that was that. Just reinforce to her that she is beautiful! Maybe you could even talk to her teacher ahead of time and she could keep an eye and ear out, or even plan a "story time" or activity about people who are different, etc. Changing Faces has a short curriculum you might want to recommend to teacher.

Well best of luck to her! And you!

They say freckles are angel kisses so I gues the angels must really love her alot to have left such a large kiss on her. Best of Luck.

I must agree with CMY. The best way to prevent harm to your child with a PWS (I have also a PWS and been to school), is for your child to be straight and say something like "I was born with it and say that it is due to a cluster of blood in the vessels". When I was young I had to deal with school and those who had less self confidence. Those are the ones that will look for any fault in others and highlight it to the class mates with a nick name. I had patch, strawberry face etc. A few times I had to hit back. But the best policy is to inform early. I dont mean by announcing what a PWS is to everyone you meet, but to those who are show confusement. The truth is the best. This will hit the hearts and reach an understanding about it. Confusement will only cause an uncomfortable reaction such as name calling. If you clear the air early then you gain confidence to get on in school and focus on other issues. I sugget not to say comments about gods kiss or angels kisses as this will only create curtain to hind behind which will cause more confusement and therefore a negative experience.

[hankbartenbach]

Hi,

I agree with all the above comments. Educating is the best way to get the other children comfortable around your daughter. Do not let the teacher give her special treatment during class. Elementary school was very hard for me growing up I came home crying many times. Be as supportive as you can be and teach your daughter to let the comments get to her emotions. Use the phrases, let them go in one ear and right out the other, or let the comments roll off her shoulders.

I will give you one good line, but tell her not to use this to anybody she is trying to make friends with. Works well with bullies though.

Say someone is bugging her about her PWS ok, tell her to wipe her hand across her PWS like she is putting some on her hand and say "here you want some" and start chasing them around the room with her hand out like she is going to give them her PWS. That always worked well for me. I think it would work better for her if she did it to the boys though.

Hope this helps.

Hank

Thanks everyone, We are very well versed on explaining that it is a birthmark and that she was born with it (she does a very good job of this). That is not the problem, I was looking for how to deal with a potential bully. I do like Hank's suggestion about "wiping" it on someone...hmmm.

Cindy

Thanks everyone, We are very well versed in explaining that it is a birthmark and that she was born with it (she does an excellant job of this). That is not the problem, I was talking about dealing with a potential bully. We never use the 'angel/God kiss' type lines, instead we deal with the reality and truth of the matter.

Anyway I'm sure we'll figure it out if a situation ever calls for it.

Thanks again and take care,

Cindy

[nickbar]

I wish I could remember some of the lines Lisa told me her teenager used... she has pws on one leg...she would tell people that were being rude something like "I forgot to paint the other one"... I would suggest joining the discussion group on www.birthmarks.com...great pws advice.

Corinne

I always kind of make fun of myself as a joke to lighten the mood, if they laugh there is no need for them to get all weird heres a few of my quotes.

"I fell in a vat of red kool-aide and the stain just didn't come out"

"Oh no looks like I'm caught red handed again"

"Put me outside for a minute if I turn blue, bring a jacket"

"I just always seem to blush so much when I'm around you"

"Funny thing is, you'll never know when I'm pissed off"

*raising my hand* "Red means STOP!"

I can write more I'm sure, but you get the idea

-Paul