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Go Back   Vascular Birthmarks Foundation Forum > Individuals Living with Birthmarks > Living with a birthmark - my story

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  #1  
Old 11-08-2009, 12:03 PM
wayne89 wayne89 is offline
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Default So I've Gotta Birthmark...

Hi..

I'm 20 years old and have had my large (HUGE) birthmark ever since i could remember, the birthmark is a 'cafe au lait' and covers half my abdomen, quarter of my back, as well as some spots on my left leg.

I've never been to the beach with my top off and always wear something underneath my shirt or jumper, some days as sad as it may seem I day dream about being able to do something as simple as wear a white T-shirt with nothing else underneath and walk down to the shops without worry about my shirt lifting up and revealing my birthmark. What makes it even sadder is this will never happen for me. It makes me extremely self-conscious during summer months almost to the point where I get so depressed I don't want to leave my room

The saddest part about my life is that I'm afraid to tell people about my birthmark, not cause I'm scared they'll stop being my friend (if that did happen then I guess they aren't really a friend) but because I don't want to be treated any differently or receive pity from them.

I've been looking into laser removal of these spots recently and have literally read up on everything there is to know, I see before and after photos of pigment treatments and sometimes cant believe the results cause they look so good, I do not think those kind of results would be possible for me. I'm even scared to book in an appointment or consultation, I keep putting it off, even typing this is hard! Some days I get pissed off at the world and just wish I was normal and that makes me so depressed cause there's so many people out there worse off than me yet still selfish thoughts run through my mind.

Having normal skin is something so many people take granted for and I hear people complain about the stupidest things like pimples or having bad hair or things along those lines and I just feel like saying SHUT UP! YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW GOOD YOU HAVE IT! This of course again makes me feel selfish and depressed.

Sorry for the long post but I just needed to let somethings out I think.

If anybody has had success with laser treatment I'd love to hear about it!

Oh and I totally agree that a birthmark should not control your life but sometimes it does, like with me, some days I wish everyone could swap and see what it is like to live with a birthmark for a day and to see what it's like to be normal for a day.

Thanks for reading.

W.
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Old 11-09-2009, 12:41 AM
missy missy is offline
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Hi there,

I have nothing really to say, except hang in there and come and vent whenever you want to or need to.

Just wanted to welcome you!

Missy
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  #3  
Old 11-09-2009, 05:01 PM
RowdyBliss RowdyBliss is offline
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Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Delaware
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Quote:
Originally Posted by wayne89 View Post
...some days I wish everyone could swap and see what it is like to live with a birthmark for a day and to see what it's like to be normal for a day.
I guess that, to me, "normal" IS the birthmark. Perspective!

We are all unique. Even people without big honkin' birthmarks have their "thing" that they feel self-conscious about. I guarantee you that most folks - if not all of them - feel "abnormal" in some way or another... if not by appearances, then by something on the inside... and I'm not very sure which is harder to deal with.

So, really, "abnormal" IS "normal" - isn't it?

Yep, it sucks sometimes, I won't lie - and it's okay to have those thoughts, they're not selfish. It's downright unfair that we have these things. But... they're here. They're US. Your birthmark's part of YOU. And I'm willing to bet you're pretty darn cool - all of you. So please don't wish to be anyone other than your fabulous self.

I've been putting off having treatment of my birthmark, too (it's pretty big - most of my right leg and some of my back). It's scary to confront some of those things and deal with them... not to mention questioning the results of surgery, will it work, how badly will it hurt, what if there are other problems, etc. However - I think it's important, particularly since it's hurting you this much emotionally, that you go to the doctor and at least see what your options are. I know you've done a lot of fact-finding already, but that information can be so overwhelming - there's so much out there! Getting a pro to help you narrow it down might go a long way towards helping you take control and be proactive. Couldn't hurt to maybe talk to a psychologist, too. (Yep, I'm doing that, too - it REALLY helps!)

Anyway - welcome to the group. There are many great folks here who share your frustrations and pain, and there are lots of resources for help and support.

I hope we hear more from you.
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