Why people are so curious?

manijo · #1 08-30-2008, 10:13 PM

Hello!
I have a 2 year old son who has had an H on his lower lip. He had three laser session and now we have left it behind us, in a way!
He has a scar not very big and noticable but after some hour playing with children either the parents or -rarely the children- ask me what's wrong with his lip? Sometimes people that I don't know come and ask me.
I feel bad not for me of course, but for my little boy who everytime he hears this question, he starts biting his lip or scratching it with his fingers in order to hide it.
What can I do? At first I was telling them the truth but now I don't want to discuss this in front of my baby all the time. I'm afraid he will start feeling bad for something that he shouldn't.
What do you tell other parents? What do ou tell to your baby? How can someone handle curiosity?

PS: I was wondering if grown ups can't be discrete what is going to happen to school later on?

Thank you in advance

jgoodman0814 · #2 09-02-2008, 02:11 PM

in my own experience, even though my daughter is only 14 months, talk to him about it and let him know that its ok and that his scar makes him beautiful and unique. i know hes just two, but dont make it a secret or he will grow up wanting to hide it and be self consious about it. i tell people who see my daughters arm, that she had a benign tumor removed. they usually ask a few more questions, and it gives me the oportunity to educate. of course i keep it simple, telling them that its a type of birthmark. most people are very interested once i tell them and sometimes even tell me about someone they know that has one! its gives me the chance to then hand out a card with the birthmark websites on it. my daughters scar is quite large, and i make no means to hide it! check out her site, you can see what i am talking about. someone who went through the same thing with her daughter told me that she taught her daughter to educate people who asked her about it. she called it her angel kiss. www.caringbridge.org/visit/avaball

manijo · #3 09-05-2008, 10:43 PM

What a beautiful, gorgeous baby! You are so lucky to have her.
Thank ou very much for replying.
You know I am greek and peopl are not so kind and polite. They are curious and they like to gossip!
But as far as what I should tell to my son, you are completely right. I should follow your advice. It's the best way.
I have already written him a letter with the exact facts, dates, etc for him to read when he will be older. But maybe it is better to start telling a little fairytale containing the truth.
Thank you very very much.

jgoodman0814 · #4 09-08-2008, 01:36 PM

I have actually kept a scrap book of all the emails, photos and thoughts over the last 14 months for Ava to read when she gets older. She is just now noticing the one arm is a little different than the other. I saw her touching the scar and then looked at the other arm and touched it. Then she just went about playing again. I plan on, as she gets older and wants to talk about it, being very honest about it and telling her that is just makes her beautiful and unique. As far as other peoples questions and remarks, as i do now, I will just let them see how proud of her I am and be open about her scar. To tell them that she has a benine tumor removed when she was a baby. People are usually sympathetic when you say benine tumor instead of birthmark. I usually dont even wait for them to ask, if I notice them staring, I go ahead and tell them. It catches them off guard, epecially if they dont think you see them staring. If your not good with confronting people, hand them a card that sais, " Hello, I saw you staring. My son was born with a birthmark, or benine tumor and had it removed, which is why you see his scar. To learn more about his condition please visit www.birthmark.org." or something to that effect. Just a thought.