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  #1  
Old 02-22-2010, 11:49 PM
momof3inpa2009 momof3inpa2009 is offline
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Default Strangers starring and asking questions?

What do you tell people? I had a lady one time ask not once but twice if my dd fell and got a bump? My dd's hemangioma indeed looks like a goose egg rather than anything else but we have had a few people ask questions. I start to get annoyed. How do the rest of you deal with these sorts of people?
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Old 02-23-2010, 02:40 AM
smurph smurph is offline
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I remember being REALLY bothered by the repeated questions and comments when my daughter's lip hemangioma was growing rapidly (about 4-5 years ago)....sometimes it was the rudeness of people, other times it was just the repetition...having to explain over and over again whenever we went out. So my response pretty much depended on my mood at the time...usually just a simple, "It's a birthmark" would suffice...and then if the person seemed friendly and I felt like explaining more I would...if not, I'd be on my way! But honestly, for me it was hard to not let it bother me.

One of my other daughters (she's 1) has a hemangioma on her hand and recently we were at the mall and a woman came up to us and kept touching her hands (which is a real big pet peeve of mine with flu season in full swing). She then said, "Oh what happened to her hand?" and I said, "It's a birthmark" and she said, "Well, can't they do something to get rid of it?!" and what I wanted to say was, "Maybe you should be more concerned about getting your germy hands off my kid than worrying about getting rid of her birthmark", but instead I bit my tongue and said, "No, we kinda like it, it makes her extra special,... ok, have a nice day" and then I walked away and then quickly took out the baby wipes to disinfect! I thought after all these years and all this practice with hemangioma questions, it wouldn't have bothered me so much...but it still did.
Mostly, though I just try to remember that people just don't know much about hemangiomas and most people don't mean harm even if they come across as being unkind or insensitive.
So I'm not sure if that helps, but that has been my experience anyways.

Shannon
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Old 02-23-2010, 03:07 AM
abatie abatie is offline
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I too get tired of the stares but Becca's leg is usually covered up in the winter so it is just the summer months for the most part. She has CMTC and her right leg is almost completely covered. The last time we were in Rochester we took her swimming and so obviously everyone could see her leg. This lady kept staring but didn't say anything. We were trying to get her used to the water so were splashing her a little. Then the lady said "She has beautiful skin." Then as soon as we put Becca in the water she got out. Becca was too young to notice but I did.
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Old 02-23-2010, 03:28 AM
nickbar nickbar is offline
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It really depended on my mood and how much I wanted to deal with it. Try to look at as a way to increase awareness... some members here have carried little business cards with our websites...etc. I think a simple reply takes care of it. "She was born with a vascular birthmark called a hemangioma. It will fade over time." Most people feel statisfied to have a label for it. The main thing is to not ever let your baby feel like you are hiding her away... she needs to know you see beyond the b-mark. People can be rude...(regardless if your child has a bmark or not)... remember they have the problem, not your child.

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  #5  
Old 02-23-2010, 12:03 PM
momof3inpa2009 momof3inpa2009 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by smurph View Post
I remember being REALLY bothered by the repeated questions and comments when my daughter's lip hemangioma was growing rapidly (about 4-5 years ago)....sometimes it was the rudeness of people, other times it was just the repetition...having to explain over and over again whenever we went out. So my response pretty much depended on my mood at the time...usually just a simple, "It's a birthmark" would suffice...and then if the person seemed friendly and I felt like explaining more I would...if not, I'd be on my way! But honestly, for me it was hard to not let it bother me.

One of my other daughters (she's 1) has a hemangioma on her hand and recently we were at the mall and a woman came up to us and kept touching her hands (which is a real big pet peeve of mine with flu season in full swing). She then said, "Oh what happened to her hand?" and I said, "It's a birthmark" and she said, "Well, can't they do something to get rid of it?!" and what I wanted to say was, "Maybe you should be more concerned about getting your germy hands off my kid than worrying about getting rid of her birthmark", but instead I bit my tongue and said, "No, we kinda like it, it makes her extra special,... ok, have a nice day" and then I walked away and then quickly took out the baby wipes to disinfect! I thought after all these years and all this practice with hemangioma questions, it wouldn't have bothered me so much...but it still did.
Mostly, though I just try to remember that people just don't know much about hemangiomas and most people don't mean harm even if they come across as being unkind or insensitive.
So I'm not sure if that helps, but that has been my experience anyways.

Shannon
I'm laughing because you sound like my husband and I. We too cannot stand when people come up and touch our girls. It's like "what are they thinking?" lol! we use Lysol/Clorox wipes faithfully AND hand sanitizer faithfully when we are out.

And like you said if the person seems kind and depending on my mood I will explain more but sometimes I get annoyed and don't say much of anything. We haven't had a bunch of questions just yet though because up until now Lexi was in a carrier seat and we normally would keep her covered --not because of her hemangioma but because she normally would be sleeping and it's cold and flu season. But now that she is older and we have her in a convertible car seat --we obviously do not have the carrier anymore so she sits up in a cart now. Like I said everyone thinks she got a "bumpy" (ironically we gave her hemangioma the nick name "bumpy") because she fell.

It's so refreshing when you find someone that actually knows what a hemangioma is because most people do not.
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Old 02-23-2010, 12:54 PM
missy missy is offline
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Don't you sometimes want to say, "No, she didn't fall down. We THREW her down! If you don't go away, we might do it to you, too!"



While we don't have to deal with stares like that, we do have a child with autism and it amazes me what people will say sometimes. We'll be in a store and my son, who still likes to ride in a cart, will be arm flapping or doing some other strange thing (not hurting anyone, just minding his own business) and we often get "advice."

And we don't even have a "bumpy!!"

Missy
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  #7  
Old 02-24-2010, 04:37 AM
lilredmomma lilredmomma is offline
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My son has a hemangioma that cover most of his right cheek and temple. A few weeks ago a lady in a restraunt was asking us about it. Very politely. While we conversed about the H and the laser treatment he is getting a lady at the next table piped up and said very rudely...."Its JUST a hemangioma and it WILL go away if you would just leave it alone. My daughter(she looked around 7-8) has one on her back and its almost gone and we didn't do anything." I was appalled. Mainly because it should be our choice how we treat Conner's and its on his face a very noticeable place. I couldn't believe that a mother that lived through what I am going through now could be so rude!
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Old 02-24-2010, 02:04 PM
mrssuperspy mrssuperspy is offline
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Oh girls! Aren't our lives with these little babies amusing? Like the others my response often depends on my mood. But, I swear the next person who asks me "what happened to her?" Is going to get an earful. Really, WHY do you need to know?

Kind of sad/funny...last week we were in the play place at a restaurant in town and I over hear 2 sisters talking about Sam. Her H is above her lip. They were discussing what it could be "is it paint? do you think it's jelly?" Then, the littlest one came to try and touch her. Luckily their Mom was on they way over to interfere.
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  #9  
Old 02-26-2010, 11:29 PM
momof3inpa2009 momof3inpa2009 is offline
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I don't know, I just think people need to mind their own business lol If they want to discuss it; do it after they are out of your earshot and eye sight you know? Go home and disucss it with your husband or whomever. Do it in the car --wherever but don't do it so rudely in front of us or in ear shot. People are strange! LOL!

Missy: Haha that's funny!!!! Yeah we should say that to people!
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  #10  
Old 02-27-2010, 02:48 AM
emily09 emily09 is offline
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I have pws on my left arm and neck..and people stare ALL THE TIME.. i work at a restaurant and i get it almost weekly..did i have a severe sunburn or did i get burnt on a grill?? oh what people can come up with..it does get annoying but id rather tell them that its just a birthmark than them just keep on staring at me!!
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