Vascular Birthmarks Foundation Forum - View Single Post - AVM of Rt. hip,thigh pelvic & back
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Old 03-07-2005, 04:05 AM
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Default Re: AVM of Rt. hip,thigh pelvic & back

Hi Debbie. I was glad to hear from you.It sounds like we do have a lot in common.Before I get into my pain management experience I'd like to tell you that not everyone has this experience, I've talked to a lot of patients in the clinic and found out there is a lot of problems involved with pain management. As I have said before it is very important to get any and all information about your treatment. I was in treatment for 15 years and ended up physically and emotionally addicted to the narcotic pain relievers. I was on the highest doses of meds that I could be without overdosing. I have been on all narcotics and I mean everyone of them. I, unfortunately never got informed, I just trusted in the doctors that they knew what was best and they would do only what was needed to help me cope with the pain. I was highly over medicated, I missed a lot of my life because I was constantly in a haze. The side effects were terrible, and I ended up at the doctors mercy. About three years ago, I was having surgery and the nurse was giving me demerol and ended up giving me too much and I had a grand maul seisure and almost died. It took me awhile to get back on my feet and when I did I started asking my pain dr more and more questions about alternative treatments and lowering my meds. They didn't agree with me and I talked to other drs but they wouldnt treat me as I was already being seen by the pain dr. So in a sense I was stuck there and I gave up hope. My divorce went through at that time and i was only receiving medicaid and the pain dr said they didn't except medicaid even though I have been a patient of theirs for 15 years. They said they would refer me to a new dr and I waited and waited for my refferal but it never came and eventually my narcotics ran out and the pain dr. would not refill them, so they told me I needed to find a dr quick because I could die from withdrawls because of such a high dose I was taking. I called around to many drs and they wouldn't have anything to do with me because I was taking so much medicine and they told me to go to the emergency room. Well, I was scared to death, I couldnt imagine dying because I was off my pain meds after all I had already struggled with to get through. I got more and more depressed with each dr telling me they couldnt help me. Finally I just got angry, thats when things started to get better for me. The withdrawls were ungodly and no dr would touch me, they wanted me to go to rehab, I kept insisting I didnt need to go to rehab, i was on the meds for medical reasons and didnt understand what all the trouble was to find a dr to treat me. Many drs told me I was on too much pain meds but never would help me to reduce them, they were always quick to tell me to get off them and quick to say they couldnt help and to ask the very dr. I was seeing to take some meds away, which he wouldnt do. So I went cold turkey from my pain meds, which I dont recommend because it is not safe, Ive been off all narcotics except xanax for 15 months now and going strong. The pain comes and goes and it takes a lot of will power to get through but I am so much better off without the meds. I am able to make better descions now and spend quality time with my husband and children. My husband calls the pain clinic a legalized crack house. You litterally could see a line of patients waiting to pick up their narcotic scripts, it is a reality check when you find yourself standing in line with the other patients waiting for sometimes two hours for the dr. to give you a script for your meds. We were all addicted, unable to admit it, complaining to each other that we werent ever going to come stand in line again and wait two hours for a stupid little script, knowing deep inside that we would all be there next month for the meds because the withdrawls were worse then taking the actual meds and having to wait for them so long was never an actual issue because we all feared the withdrawls. I would have never "popped a pill" as a quick fix for the pain had I known what I would be going through 15 years later. I'm sorry it took me so long to write back to you, I was trying to find a way to tell you of my own exp. without scaring you because you may have better luck in the pain clinic then what I did. The deciding factor was when my husband told me that my story may be scary but its the truth and i may be able to prevent someone else from going through the same nightmares as I did. That motivated me more then anything, this is a nightmare all the way around and a never ending battle, and if anything is going to help you it is knowledge and the power and control you have in your mind. You are not alone, and you have a beautiful little boy who needs you and you use that to empower yourself. I hope this has helped you in some way. Good luck and I wish you well. I'm still here if you need me.
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