Vascular Birthmarks Foundation Forum - View Single Post - Question
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Old 08-11-2005, 06:49 PM
nickbar nickbar is offline
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Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Pacific Northwest
Posts: 1,054
Default Re: Question

Hello. This is probably the hardest thing as a parent. We love our children unconditionally, but we just don't understand why others don't see what we see. I think the first thing is to be aware of how you react to the birthmark and how you react to the way others look at you or your baby. THe baby will pick up on this. You don't want to pretend nothing is there...but I think it is best for the child to know growing up that a birthmark doesn't define who you are and what you can do with your life. In my obvervation the children with the highest self esteem have parents that taught their children about differences and how it doesn't need to be an obstical...the people that make fun or make comments are the one's with problems... that exterior only matters to them. Ok......easier said then done as we all know how rough it is to grow up even with the thickest is amazing what kids can come up with to tease someone about. I think it is also important to have balance (for lack of a better word) child should know that it is ok to be sad when someone is mean as we don't want it to build up inside of them and for them to think feeling down isn't right..... am I making sense? I think if they know that we all struggle with something...sometimes it is more obvious to the public...but we all have something that gets us down or makes us worry.
Also, I think if your child knows about true friendship... a person that would put you down is not worth having as a friend......etc.

Another thing I've noticed and have posted about before... children often will stop teasing others once they are educated. This goes for adults too...but children seem to be the most willing to learn and change their attitudes. I've seen how a child with a disability was left out and teased...but once his parents and teacher sat the class down and explained about the child's conditions...they all rallied around him and he became everyone's buddy and seemed to be the STAR of the class. I can't stress enough how much it can be valuable to everyone involved with a little education. I know many of us with young children get so tired of the comments in public....and so some of us carry cards with more information so we don't feel like we have to give our the whole story again. We have a member on our support group site...her son did a study on the publics reaction to birthmarks....and recorded their reaction to seeing first they were "big eyed" shocked....felt sorry for...etc. but once they received some facts about birthmarks their attitudes changed.

I would like to invite you to join a support group on msn. It is a great place to share our ups and downs with a lot of great advice from parents that are going thru this. Also you might want to check out is a great pws group with a lot of specific information on pws and dealing with treatment and all that goes along with pws.

Corinne Barinaga
VBF Director of Family Services
vbfadvocate @ live. com (no spaces)
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