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Old 08-01-2006, 02:45 AM
hankbartenbach hankbartenbach is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Nebraska
Posts: 533


At a guys prospective (hopefully some ladies will chime in).

In my opinion I think you took the right approach in telling her about your family and your past and that your mom had a birthmark.

For the record as of right now doctors have not linked birthmarks to be gentic. Meaning that as of right now people with a birthmark can not pass it onto either children. I know several people that have children men and women that do not have a birthmark. I know of one person that has children with a birthmark that has a birthmark herself, but as of right now they still can not prove that she passed it onto them.

As a guy with a birthmark, people have a tendacy to judge me because of my birthmark. If you have already got over that herdale in your relationship I think she should give you another chance. Show her, or tell her that you have cared enough about her that you came to this site to find out and learn more info about her condition.

Hope this helps and things work out for both of you.

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Old 08-01-2006, 03:37 AM
kaykay kaykay is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 233

I can't answer all your questions but I think your expierences would be a positive thing. For me anyway. To me it would be like " wow, he already knows/seen the ups and downs I will have "

Sorry the relationship did not turn out better. I hope you get an explaination day.
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Old 09-14-2006, 01:00 AM
Posts: n/a

No dates or girlfriends and here I am 24 years old. Just call me Charlie Brown because everytime this topic arises I think "Good Grief!"

I try to at least find girls who have other unique appearances or conditions so there is at least some common ground where you can say "yeah, I know what you mean" Or maybe finding a girl whos studying to be a nurse or doctor. They won't judge because they already understand the medical concept of it.

As you can see I'm still working at it, no luck yet. Just gotta keep the faith and stay strong no matter what, I firmly believe there is someone for everyone, even if they are on the other side of the planet. Sometimes you just gotta look harder than most and search farther, a special person deserve a special significant other
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Old 09-23-2006, 06:05 PM
djdoc djdoc is offline
Junior Member
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Lima, Peru
Posts: 10
Cool 29 y.o male

Hey everybody:
The relationships duh! not big deal in my own case. As I told in my short story about my case, I have a big PWS covering the left side of my face, neck, ear, chin, lower lip, chest, some lil' spots on my head -when i mean lil i'm talking about just few milimeters- and inside of my mouth including tongue, palate, and a bone hypertrophia of my left side of the jaw. Yeah! i'm a sex symbol!
Jayjay i'm thinking we are twins gal!
So, in my school age, i did not have a girlfriend. But when i just start the college i did. Well it was not too bad having 16y.o. and a girlfriend 2 years older. After that in the dental school -i'm a graduate dentist- i not certain about the number but let me tell you it's near the 10 relations i had.
In my career some people look at me like a "strange" doctor, too much people still looks to my pws and not to my eyes. The fact is just one, I have an attitude.
I accepted my pws all of this time. I think girls like men and men like girls, not just for how they look, and let me tell you it's not a cliche. When i was 16, i thought "ok, probably i can't have Brad Pitt face" but maybe i can develope my body, and i started on working out at the gym. Ok, I'm not like Flex Wheeler or Dorian Yates, but it gave me more attitude.
I know it's hard, it's so hard been the ugly duck of the class, or maybe the subject of any kind of jokes, but does it make you weak? When a guy make too much jokes about my pws, i talk about her premature ejaculation problem o how much unsatisfied is her wife. Yup! i do understand how to shut up some people, and if it does not convince him, maybe it's time for kicking some asses. Yeah, yeah, say no to violence right? but sometimes it really work.
I do not feel less than any other, actually i'm on my second PDL session. Probably it will work. However, my kind of relationship never changed.
Not all the girls are looking for Brad Pitt, so it's a chance. Usually girls do like the knight attitude, let me tell ya it really works!
First post on the group, and i really feel at home. THX.
see ya around.
Dj Doc says Relaxxx
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Old 07-19-2007, 05:43 AM
veronika veronika is offline
Junior Member
Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 1

This is my first time on this website...
A little about myself...
I am 23 and have a pws on the lower half of my face with an enlarged lower lip. Thats not all, I also have blonde hair, blue eyes and i have been told the cutest nose ever!

I have never worn make up to hide my birthmark. It would look pretty silly with my bottem lip sticking out so much.

In my experiance, I have noticed that everyone is insecure about something. I heard something like only 3% of women think they are beautiful!
Anyway, my point is that guys love girls who are confident and who love themselves.

I have never had a hard time finding bfs and actually to tell you the truth my other friends get jealous because they struggle with relationships.

Think about it this way... a man who is strong and confident won't care if you have a little extra colour. So in reality we are lucky because we are only getting the good guys and everybody else can have the shallow ones!
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Old 07-20-2007, 10:37 PM
eprmo eprmo is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Dec 2003
Posts: 133

I agree with everything you said...welcome to VBF

Elissa Rifkin
VBF Developmental Specialist
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Old 07-21-2007, 02:58 AM
hankbartenbach hankbartenbach is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Nebraska
Posts: 533

Hi Veronike,

First of all welcome to the group.

I am a 25 year old with facial PWS as well.

I can not agree more with what you said above. We have to be self confadent and except ourselves for who we are with our PWS before other people can except us.

I keep telling my fiancee that because of her disablities. (She is legally blind)

I did not have my first real relationship until I was in college. Part of which I lived in a very small town growing up an most girls where shallow in that age group anyways.

I hope to hear more about you and your experiences with your PWS.

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Old 03-10-2008, 02:26 AM
Artemis Artemis is offline
Junior Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Las Vegas
Posts: 3

I'm 20 years old... I guess that makes me an adult...

Relationship experience= 0
I was born with a vascular malformation on my left cheek. It used to cover almost all of it, but have undergone some procedures, now it covers the upper half beneath my eye.

I'm not a very "forward" person. I am in college and have never had a girlfriend or anything... My friends keep telling me that I need to hurry up as well as my family, but it's just not a priority right now. Of course I do look around school (who doesn't), but I think it over too much. I don't have too great self confidence, but it isn't bad either, more like in the middle. Highschool was ok, I was one of the better-known people and almost everyone seemed to like me and got close to this one girl I really liked, but nothing happened because I'm an idiot... lol. I've had other chances, but taken none. So far in college nothing happening, and doesn't seem like anything will happen soon.
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Old 03-11-2008, 07:01 PM
hankbartenbach hankbartenbach is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Nebraska
Posts: 533

Hello Artemis,

I am 25 year old with facial port wine stain birthmark.

When I was your age I was in your shoes. I never had a relationship until half way thru college, but it did not last long. I was always looking for it and at the point where I thought nothing else could go wrong in my life (I was going blind) I met my Fiancee who is legally blind. She does not care about my birthmark she loves me for who I am.

People always told me that there is someone out there for me and I always thought well then prove it. All I can say is just give yourself time. Do not let anybody hurry you into a relationship. When the time is right you will know.
You have your whole life to find her.

Talk to you soon.

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Old 11-06-2008, 02:29 AM
erih erih is offline
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Illinois
Posts: 56

I recently ended a relationship of ~3 months...not sure if you'd call that "serious" or not tho. He was my first boyfriend & pretty cool. I have PWS on the left side of my forehead and on my eyelid and as far as i knew, he never minded it.
He even comforted me shortly before my last treatment.
I have often wondered if my PWS was, in a way, 'responsible' for guys not approaching me. ...Chances are tho that my being home schooled have much more to do with this than anything else XD
The hope a dream and the wings to be free
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